If you can’t find cryptids, why not try your hand at making some?

Max Read reports on Gawker.com

‘Adventurous’ Woman Needed as Surrogate for Neanderthal Baby
by Max Read

Are you an adventurous human woman? Adventurous enough to be a surrogate mother for the first Neanderthal baby to be born in 30,000 years?

Harvard geneticist George Church recently told Der Spiegel he’s close to developing the necessary technology to clone a Neanderthal, at which point all he’d need is an “adventurous human woman” — einen abenteuerlustigen weiblichen Menschen — to act as a surrogate mother.

Sounding just the teeniest bit like Doctor Frankenstein, Church tells Bloomberg Business Week

“We have lots of Neanderthal parts around the lab. We are creating Neanderthal cells. Let’s say someone has a healthy, normal Neanderthal baby. Well, then, everyone will want to have a Neanderthal kid. Were they superstrong or supersmart? Who knows? But there’s one way to find out.”

Of course most mothers can tell you that there is no real trick in having a Neanderthal baby as they are often immediately reconized in the delivery room by the phrase “It’s A Boy!” At least that is the story I grew up being told, usually as I was being bandaged or driven to the emergency room. I am a little hazy on many of the details but I am apparently not alone, Church himself lays claim to a bit of Neanderthal.

“I am 3.8 percent Neanderthal,” says Church, who has had his genome sequenced. “One of my ancestors mated with a Neanderthal, and I am not embarrassed by that.”

You know, you have a few too many at the company Xmas party and next thing you know people are sequencing each other’s genomes.

Church doesn’t understand

“why many people should be so profoundly upset by these kinds of technologies,”

I would have to inquire, if I met him, Did you see “Jurassic Park?” Or better yet, the Joan Crawford classic “Trog?”

“I told him, no wire hangers!”

Okay I am sure it is not so simple, and certainly we are not dealing with anything as alien to our experience as dinosaurs, and as far as any living infant is concerned its mother is its mother and only a bit of adaptability prevented Neanderthals from surviving to the present. There is no reason to suspect they could not survive today given the education they could receive, though it would likely be highly susceptible to many diseases that were not in existence in the time the species belongs to. Still, many ethical and cultural questions must be raised over the potential success of Church’s research.

And he has been cited as saying.

“a kind of Neandertal culture” could arise that could gain “political significance.”

Most nations refer to that prospect as America.

So if any of the lovely ladies of Ghost Theory would like to consider applying, send your blood types and other relevant information to

[email protected]