If I may be allowed to open up for a moment dear readers, I would like to tell you of my own personal grief. I don’t know exactly where this would fit in a paranormal website, but I feel that I’ve been having reoccurring dreams and flashbacks for over twenty years now. These are the things that have haunted me for the past two decades. Like an old ghost in the attic that at times slowly creeps into and invades my space. So in a way, I think it fits in fine here on GhostTheory. I have no reason on writing about this heinous crime other than my need to express my sorrow. Bear with me dear reader as I spill my heartache for Patricia.

Twenty three years ago was the last time I saw you.

That was the day you had announced to the class that your family was relocating, therefore you were transferring to a different school. We had a small going away party for you. We ate cake, drank punch and played games. Carefree and limitless were our days that we shared in that small classroom. The halcyon days of our youth are a distant memory for me. For you, those were your last.

Patricia, I remember your colorful shirts and braided ponytail during those school days. Your subtle smile that terminated in deep dimples and your ever-so present array of head bands. How you and I could communicate in a different language than some of the other kids and even the teachers. I can rightfully say that I knew you were a good person. Quiet yet social, you would attract every of our classmates. You were my secret childhood crush. Your light attracted everyone who was fortunate enough to be near it. Unfortunately it also attracted that monster that extinguished it.

I remember those last moments so well. Those moments that resonate in my head. On that last day of class before your departure from our school and our lives, I knew something was wrong. Those final images of me saying my goodbyes the best way a nine year old can, were clouded with dread. A heavy and dark feeling that no nine year old should have. I must confess that as I said my goodbyes, I tried so hard to hold back my feelings. I knew something bad was lurking around your innocence. I knew that was the last time I’d see you Patricia.

I’m not psychic, nor do I pretend that I ever was. I do however know that I what I sensed on those last moments with you were real. I live with the guilt of knowing that something horrible was going to happen to you once you left, yet I kept quiet. It’s not like anyone would have listened to a nine year old’s prophecy; at least that’s how I felt. And that is my own personal struggle I’ve been dealing with for twenty three years. It’s not always on my mind, but every now and then, the ghost that lives in the attic comes down for awhile and pays me a visit. Like it has been for the past few days. My heart aches heavily with each visit.

There was nothing that anyone could have done.

Our friendship was short, and your life cut even shorter by someone you trusted. Patricia I need you to know that I have not forgotten you. That when I reflect back to my childhood, the time I spent around you will always be present in my memories because that’s how much of an impression you left. One of the brightest lights…

I’ve mourned your sudden departure for a long time, in a lonely manner. Ever since my mother came into the living room that summer afternoon with the newspaper in her hand and asked me: “Isn’t this your friend?”

Your school picture printed on the local newspaper. One of the brightest lights…

I vow to you to never let your light extinguish in my memories and that if I ever decide to bring my own children into this beautiful but unforgiving world, I will never entrust them to anyone.

To my childhood friend. I miss you.

One of the brightest lights…

Patricia’s murder.